Vipassana: The Path to Liberation
The Call to the Inner Journey
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a curious girl. One of my favorite Disney movies growing up was Alice in Wonderland—because of my innate sense of curiosity. “I want to fall down the rabbit hole,” I told myself.
My mind really started opening up after I graduated college and stepped outside the confines of formal education. That’s when I began to think freely and discover who I was and what truly lit me up. Mysticism, esotericism, and the mysteries of the cosmos caught my eye.
Since then, I’ve spent a decade on a devoted search for Truth, seeking to understand the nature of reality and the questions no one can seem to answer. As someone with a Virgo stellium in the 1st house, I feel cosmically wired to evolve into my highest expression. And to do that, I’ve traveled far and wide, both externally and internally.
When I was 24, I went to Thailand and was offered magic mushrooms by the owner of the bungalow I was staying in. He asked if I wanted them in my smoothie. Although I am a seeker, I had vowed never to seek out psychedelics. I told myself I would only let them come to me. And sure enough, they did. Little did I know that plant medicine would become a powerful doorway on my path to liberation.
I’ve traveled to Costa Rica to drink ayahuasca with Taita Juanito, a revered Colombian shaman. I’ve experienced ego death through 5-MeO-DMT (the “God molecule,” sourced from the Sonoran Desert Toad). I’ve sat with Kambo, the purgative frog medicine. And San Pedro, the gentle heart-opener. And the message at the center of it all was always the same: Love.
The Path: What Is Vipassana?
In 2020, a friend gifted me Yung Pueblo’s book Inward, and it was then that I learned for the first time about Vipassana meditation. A few months later, a new roommate moved in fresh from a 10-day Vipassana course. The seed was planted.
Vipassana means “to see things as they truly are,” not as you would like them to be. It’s a purification of the mind at the deepest levels of the unconscious. The path to Nirvana. Enlightenment. Liberation.
In Pāli, the word breaks down as:
Vi = clear
Passanā = seeing
→ Clear Seeing.
S.N. Goenka, the late teacher who brought Vipassana to the West, called it a “deep surgical operation of the mind,” where your deepest mental defilements are uprooted by, well, their root. It is considered a purification of the mind at the deepest level of the unconscious to achieve freedom.
My astrological blueprint was a match: My Virgo Sun and Rising seek purification in all forms. My Pisces Moon—the mystic of the zodiac—longs for the depths. And my North Node in Sagittarius? She wants freedom, above all.
I had never done a single meditation retreat, not even a weekend. But my Pisces Moon wanted to dive into the deep end. And when I heard that Vipassana could help purify the deepest layers of the subconscious to reveal truth and freedom, I said: sign me up.
What is enlightenment, though? Bliss? Peace? Oneness? In 2021, I spent two weeks at a Happiness Research Center in Peru. There, I learned something simple yet profound: Enlightenment is just… happiness. Isn’t that what we’re all searching for, in the end?
The Descent: 10 Days of Silence
Day 0: Entering the Silence
On July 6th, I woke up at exactly 6am to apply for the Vipassana course at the Rocky Mountain Vipassana Center. Within an hour, I got the email that I was waitlisted. Still, for the next two months, I “acted as if” I was going. Manifestation, anyone?
The day before the course began, I was sitting in Wild Pastures Cafe in Boulder with my roommate when I got the text: I was in. I had until 6pm to confirm or they’d move to the next person. Fear, anxiety, and excitement all surged. But I knew I was a yes.
On the evening of Day 0, all 15 female students mingled over dinner, received orientation, and then entered Noble Silence. In the Buddhist tradition, Noble Silence not only refers to no talking, but also no eye contact, no gestures, no communication of any kind with fellow meditators.
Day 1: The Mind Revolts
The gong rang at 4am. Surprisingly, I woke up with no issues for the first two-hour sit. By the end of Day 1 though—after 11 hours of meditation—I sat wide-eyed in my tent thinking, “What the actual fuck did I just sign up for?”
Despite the doubt, there was no way in hell I was going to quit. I’ve always had grit and determination. I was in this.
Ānāpāna: Breath as Gateway
The first three and a half days were spent practicing Ānāpāna, or breath awareness.
Āna = inhale
Apāna = exhale
Sati = awareness
→ Awareness of inhalation and exhalation.
We focused solely on the bare breath—natural, unmanipulated—the area just below the nose and above the upper lip.
Unlike many other meditative techniques, Vipassana, as taught by S.N. Goenka, does not involve any visualization, mantras, or chanting during the formal meditation practice. Even seemingly harmless techniques like silently repeating “one” on the inhale and “two” on the exhale are discouraged. Why? Because even that subtle labeling directs the mind toward the words rather than the bare sensations of reality. Instead, the training begins with pure unadulterated observation: just breath, just awareness.
Vipassana Technique: Scanning the Body
On Day 4 at 2pm, we transitioned from Ānāpāna to the Vipassana technique.
The practice? Body scanning. Move your awareness from head to toe, part by part, observing any sensation—itching, tingling, pressure, heat, vibration—without reacting. If the mind wanders (which it will), return to the breath (Ānāpāna) until steadiness returns.
Why this method? Because it teaches you, on the level of sensation, how to stop reacting to every single feeling that arises. Whether pleasant or unpleasant.
We crave pleasure. We resist pain. We cling. We avoid. We chase. We numb.
Craving and aversion… craving and aversion… craving and aversion…
But all of this is suffering.
Vipassana teaches that every reaction begins not in the mind—but in the body. Every emotion is preceded by a bodily sensation. Joy, rage, jealousy, grief—they all start as vibration. Energy. And when we can observe sensation without attachment or aversion, we begin to train the mind to remain equanimous.
Equanimity means mental calmness, balance, and composure—especially in the face of pain, pleasure, difficulty, or change. Essentially a detachment to the arising sensations, whether pleasant or unpleasant.
Goenka often said: "Equanimity is the secret to liberation.”
Adhiṭṭhāna: The Sits of Strong Determination
From Day 4 onward, we were also introduced to Adhiṭṭhāna, or “sittings of strong determination.” Three times a day, for one hour, you sit without opening your eyes, moving your hands, or shifting your legs. You remain completely still.
Not as punishment, but as training. To train the mind to stay balanced when confronting discomfort.nWhen you commit to not moving, your usual escape route (reactivity) is blocked, and you’re forced to observe the sensations that arise, rather than react. And believe me, sensations arose… tingling, itching, tension, pain, etc. When you can no longer escape discomfort, you face it. And in facing it, you transform your relationship to pain.
As the Law of Nature states, everything is impermanent. Remain equanimous in the face of discomfort and eventually the sensations will pass. Vipassana is a cellular level of understanding, that helps you face life’s challenges, because life is inevitably uncomfortable… often. After 10 days of an experiential understanding of the Law of Nature, you can go out into the real world recognizing from a subatomic level that everything, pleasant or unpleasant, arises and eventually passes away. You realize: This too shall pass.
Pain arises. Pain passes.
Pleasure arises. Pleasure passes.
Everything is impermanent. Anicca.
The Mirror: The Mind in Meditation
Right before Vipassana, I met a man at my favorite coffee shop. We unexpectedly started developing feelings for each other in a sweet and mutual way. And I couldn’t stop thinking about him for a solid portion of those 10 days—along with everything else my monkey mind was cycling through.
This became the perfect real-life example: practicing equanimity toward something pleasant, rather than attaching to it. Because what if it didn’t work out? And indeed, one week after I returned from the course he found out he was going to have to move states for a private chef opportunity. Talk about a flawless real-world test hitting me across the face immediately.
Throughout the ten days, my mind cycled through memories, ideas, redecorating my apartment ten times over in imagination. When I ran out of content, it recycled information I held in the archives of my mind. Then… old wounds. Sometimes I would spiral into what the teacher called “revolving doors”—ruminating on painful memories, usually ones linked to old resentments. A stockpile of anger began surfacing. One day, I had to get up from meditation to walk the trail and quite literally slap myself across the face, saying out loud, “Danielle. Get it together. You have three choices: ruminate, let it go, or observe the sensations.”
The primal mind lives in the past and future. It avoids the present like the plague. And yet, presence is ultimately where freedom lives.
Every time my mind wandered (which was A LOT), I reminded myself to return: observe the breath, scan the body, observe the sensations, stay non-reactive.
The Law of Nature
Vipassana reveals the most profound teaching of all:
Everything arises and passes away.
In Pāli, this is Anicca — impermanence.
Pain? Passes.
Joy? Passes.
Grief? Passes.
Desire? Passes.
Goenka would say:
“Observe the sensations. Arising and passing away. Arising and passing away. Anicca, anicca, anicca…”
He used the metaphor of a river: You pass one point of a river, and when you return later, it’s not the same river. It’s a new river—again and again—each second.
No matter how pleasant or unpleasant something is, the feeling will pass away eventually. To reduce our suffering, we must remain detached. This doesn’t mean we become apathetic or dim our happiness, but rather we train our mind to be grateful for this moment, knowing it will likely end at some point.
The Three Types of Wisdom
There are three kinds of wisdom on the path to liberation:
Suta-maya paññā: wisdom gained by hearing or reading
Cinta-maya paññā: wisdom gained by reasoning or witnessing
Bhāvanā-maya paññā: wisdom gained by direct experience, an embodied knowing
Most of us walk around with the first two. We listen to teachers, read books, post quotes on Instagram, nod our heads when something resonates. But nothing—nothing—compares to bhāvanā-maya paññā. Because once you live it, you can’t unknow it.
Goenka used a digestible example to explain these three types of wisdom. When you go to a restaurant and read the menu, your mouth starts watering, because everything looks so good—This is suta-maya paññā. When you look around the restaurant and see others enjoying their food with smiles on their faces, you can reason that the food is good—This is cinta-maya paññā. But, it’s not until you eat the food yourself that you truly know that the food is good—This is bhāvanā-maya paññā.
Now that I’m 33, I feel that I’m entering bhāvanā-maya paññā more, especially after experiencing Vipassana. I’m the most embodied version of myself that I’ve ever been. I’m at the point where I don’t just say, “I know that,” but rather… “I’ve LIVED that.”
I’ve been told by people that I’m wise, which is a compliment I hold near to my heart. Wisdom is something earned over life, it can’t be fast tracked. Sharing my wisdom with others is something that truly lights me up. Of course I have so much more life to live, experiences I haven’t even touched, and I welcome them when the time is ripe, to continue learning and becoming the woman I was always meant to become.
Jesus Christ, perhaps the greatest yogi to walk this earth, was a living embodiment of bhāvanā-maya paññā. Not just a preacher of peace—he became peace in the face of persecution. He didn’t flinch when nailed to the cross. He remained equanimous in the face of absolute agony. That is liberation.
Devotion, Forgiveness, & Compassion
On the morning of the 10th and final day during my last 4:30am sit, an owl began hooting just before dawn, which felt like a nod from nature. This owl hadn’t shown up on any other day, only the final day. Owls represent wisdom, and it was as if nature was telling me, “you made it, you earned it.”
Goenka said when you surrender to the Law of Nature (impermanence), Nature rewards you. When you resist, you suffer. And I felt that law in my bones. The more I surrendered, the more held I felt. The more I clung, the more I suffered.
Devotion isn’t loud. It’s not always ceremonial. Sometimes it’s simply choosing to sit with yourself in the stillness. It’s saying yes to your pain instead of numbing it. It’s letting your tears fall like an offering to the land.
Vipassana brought me home to that devotion. To the quiet sanctity of a world I had temporarily forgotten I belonged to. We are nature. We are energy. We are breath. We are kalapas (atoms) dancing in form—rising, dissolving, rising again.
Metta
After the early morning meditation, we were taught Metta, which Goenka says is like a balm for the open wound of the deep surgical operation of the mind that we just underwent for 9 days.
Metta (Pāli; pronounced meh-tah) means loving-kindness—a pure, selfless, and unconditional wish for the happiness and well-being of all beings.
Practicing Metta softens the heart and rewires the nervous system toward benevolence, forgiveness, and non-harming.
Even modern neuroscience confirms its power. Metta meditation increases activity in regions of the brain linked to compassion and empathy.
Goenka walked us through pardoning ourself and pardoning all of those in our life who have wronged or hurt us, for they do not recognize what they have done. We were all born into amnesia, forgetting who we truly are, that we are One With All that is, beings of love. We’re not here to discover who we are, but to remember who we are. And even when we remember, we forget again. Life is a series of remembering and forgetting, remembering and forgetting. We forgive those who have harmed us, for they’ve simply fallen back into temporary amnesia. Don’t we all?
It was at this point that I silently bawled my eyes out. Streams of tears rolling down my face. Not only was I utterly exhausted, mentally and emotionally, from over 100 hours of meditation in ten days, proud of myself for completing the most arduous physical and mental experience of my life, but I was simply moved in my heart at the power of love, compassion, and forgiveness. Holding onto anger, resentment, and un-forgiveness just hurts you more than anything else.
Closing Reflections
What is Truth?
Philosophers across centuries have wrestled with this question, but I’ve come to believe this: truth must serve a purpose. And what purpose could that be other than… happiness. Not the fleeting kind. The deep, abiding, anchored kind. The kind that cannot be taken from you.
This is why I sat in stillness for 10 days. This is why I’ll keep sitting. Not to escape the world—but to meet it with clear seeing. With presence. With love.
At the end of each day, Goenka would chant in Pāli:
“Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā.”
“May all beings be happy. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free.”
I carry those words with me.
And perhaps, this is what freedom really is. Not the absence of pain—but the presence of equanimity. The remembrance that you are not your sensations. That you are not your past. That beneath it all, there is a stillness that no one can touch.
That stillness is your liberation.
That stillness is your return.
That stillness… is You.